requested by lila

dear mom-

this is why you rule!

ok, so mom called me one night just to see what i was up to. and i told her that i was headed to a wrestling match. i told her that there was lots of blood (hopefully) and that it was fun fun fun. she said "mackenzie, i never thought you could be more white trash...but...you surprise me every day." (now, i'm not saying that people who go or are into wrestling are white trash...cause i love that shit) but anyway.....

later that night, i got a text from her and she asked me if there was any blood yet. i hadn't seen any, so i told her "no"

next two texts i got from her are below. she claimed to have gotten in a bar fight.

mother...you were amazing. there will never be anyone like you. NEVER.

i can only strive to be so fricken cool.

p.s. makeup and ketchup if anyone didn't get the joke.

p.p.s. she threatened me to not put these on the internet...so i won't...oops

...but MOM...THESE ARE TOO GOOD TO WASTE!!! sorry bout it.